Here we are!

Trip #2 is here!  I counted the time between trip #1 and trip #2 and it was about 7 weeks.  I think that is pretty quick.  I am constantly told that we had a very fast process, so I am not sure if this is typical time or not.

Our court ordered "bonding time" was set for 2 weeks.  We are at the end of this time.  This means that we go to court to finalize the adoption TOMORROW!  We are thrilled beyond belief to reach this milestone in our journey.  We have spent our bonding time in Nałęczów, which is a touristy town that is about 25 km from Lublin.  K's foster mom found us an apartment to rent in a location that is close to the bus station as well as the park and all the local shops.  Nałęczów is a very quiet, small town with a big park and a pool you can pay to use that features massaging jets and a lazy river.  Many people come here with various ailments to get healed, so there are lots of spas with special treatments available, as well as a variety of doctors specializing in many different practices.  Everyone around here seems to enjoy strolling - meaning taking their sweet time walking VERY slowly - and sitting on park benches, just hanging out.  It is very different from the fast pace of the US, where everyone walks super fast and if you are sitting down, you are staring at your Blackberry or iPhone. 

We had a good transition leading up to K coming to our apartment.  Before we took her into our place, we spent a full day with K and K's foster mom in her home.  We went shopping together to get K's milk, pacifier, diapers, and baby food.  We wrote down what she does not like to eat, what she likes, and how to make her bottles.  After K's nap, we packed up and drove to our apartment.  With K's foster mom, I practiced making my first bottle and then she had to leave because her mom called telling her that one of the other foster kids had a fever.  I will never forget what she told me and how she cried when she left.  It was a happy and sad moment at the same time - happy for K for having her forever family, but sad for her to have to say goodbye.  Once again - I don't know if this is typical, but we were blessed to have her to guide us.  I have been keeping in touch and calling her every other day to let her know how things are going.  She hasn't come by to visit because she wasn't sure how K would react.  It will be interesting to see how things go in her home tomorrow, because we are leaving K with her mom and the other foster kids while we go to court.  Kids aren't allowed in the courtroom.

I read lots of blogs and many talk about how happy the bonding time was.  I can honestly agree that it is wonderful to have your child smile at you, follow you around, and watch her fall asleep in her pack and play.  There is no doubt that we love K and believe she was meant to be with us.  However - I will be upfront and tell you that it is not all like a perfect fairytale.  K was not a happy camper right away.  Now that we are nearing the end of 2 weeks, she is doing much better and we are very pleased with how well she is doing.  The first few days were rough, and understandably so.  Everything in our child's life changed in a day, and all of the sudden she is in a new place with different people speaking some crazy other language.  I am also sure that I am not doing everything quite the same as her foster mom did.  So there were times she was screaming her head off or crying, because something is different or because she was grieving.  It is not easy to hear your child cry and feel helpless because you don't know what to do.  At times I felt like I had a newborn all over again and nothing I was doing was right.  It's hard not to stress about it.  The key for us that got us through bonding time has been to take it a day at a time.  Hug her and hold her during those rough times.  Pray for strength and patience.  And know that the next day will be better - or at least be another day! 

It truly is encouraging to see the progress we are making.  I finally got her to take a bottle from me.  That was a struggle, and at times she still screams at me and I have to hold her and then pop the bottle in - but for the most part, she takes it willingly now.  We have also figured out which solid foods she is willing to eat.  Every day we hold also hands and practice walking.  She will take a few steps on her own now and then.  We take long walks in the stroller and she has started to enjoy the walks more instead of screaming the whole time.  Things are getting better and I know it'll be even better once we get home with our own belongings and space.

Our place here is functional and not too bad, but a far cry from an American hotel.  Mike and I have many funny stories that would take too long to type, although Mike may guest blog for us here in the future with his tales!  Ha ha.  The kitchen is tiny but serves its purpose.  The 5" mattress is hard and my hips and back hurt from sleeping on it, but Mike actually likes the bed.  There is no air conditioning, no microwave, no oven, and no washer/dryer.  We don't have a stove but we do have a hot plate.  It hasn't been too hot so we haven't had a problem keeping cool.  Laundry is a challenge.  I brought powder Tide with me and hand wash stuff in the sink, then I dry it either outside or there is this heating rack in the bathroom and I hang items there to dry.  Totally ghetto but it works, and it's all I've got.  I also discovered that if I plug in my hair dryer, I blow out all the fuses in the apartment, and therefore I cannot us my hair dryer or straightener.  So I'm not looking so hot these days!  At least I got the landlord to lend me a hair dryer for the duration of our stay. 

Of course I have to write about food.  Love the pizza here, once again!  Although one night we ordered our pizza "to go" and got ketchup sauce instead of the tomato sauce I ordered.  I still enjoyed it with ketchup.  Mike did not.  One time I also screwed up Mike's order, and instead of his pizza coming with pepperoni it came with hot peppers.  Whoops!  Now I know the Polish word for pepperoni is "salami", not "peperoni".  Who knew?  There is also this piekarnia (bakery) down the street with the most delicious bread.  We go every day to get fresh bread.  It's better than Panera, and way cheaper too.  We can leave with 4 buns for less than 1 US dollar.  Their cream puffs are amazing.  There is also this ice cream shop that is always busy, no matter what time of day.  They open at 7 am.  It has become a regular stop for us in the evening.  There is a fast food style place where we can get fries and a burger, which satisfies our desire for American food.  I know when I visit my relatives, I will be eating tons of authentic Polish food, so I am waiting for that time to load up on Polish favorites.  Plus what my aunts make are way better than any restaurant!

Things I am glad we brought with us to Poland are: Neosporin and bandages (used them on scarred feet from tons of walking), Motrin for achy joints, Ziploc bags for storage, anti bacterial wipes for cleaning all kinds of stuff, and our favorite granola bars for a snack.  Things I wish I'd have brought include: duct tape to tape the gnarled handle on our stroller that got mauled in airline transit, and scissors as I keep buying bags of stuff that needs to be opened and I don't like to use a knife to do so!  Oh, and along with the bags, chip clips would have been useful.  We did manage to hunt some down in a large supermarket.  I needed to buy more than 4 of them though. 

For me, the hardest part about the trip is being away from our 2 kids at home.  After court, Mike is flying home to be with them and get them ready for school.  We give HUGE thanks to nana and bopa, and babcia and dzia dzia for taking care of our 2 at home.  I know the kids have had a great time!  We kept them back due to cost and logistics, thinking they would have an awful time and we would get ourselves stressed out, but right now I think I'd have preferred to have the stress and financial loss to have them here with us.  Since I am the parent staying behind, this is going to feel like a long journey to get home to the rest of our family.  After court, I am headed to Bydgoszcz, my parent's hometown, where I will stay with relatives for 2 weeks until it's time to go to Warsaw and get K's paperwork together for her visa and passport to take her HOME!  I have to wait 2 weeks for the court generated documents to get generated before I can go to the US Embassy in Warsaw, thus the reason for the long journey.  My mom will come meet up with me to help me out at the Embassy, and I will be counting down the days until I get to see her arrival.  Thank God for my wonderful immediate and extended family!

I leave you with some pictures to cover a glimpse of our bonding time.  In my next post, I hope to be announcing the finalization of our adoption and our daughter's name!

She wore this hat for about 30 seconds - just enough time for a picture!

Walking the streets is something we do daily.  Unless it's raining. 

One of the first bottle feedings by hand.  If I look tired, it's because I was!  Getting her to eat was very much "touch and go" for the first couple of days.  I wish I had a picture to share to show me being really relaxed and happy when she started taking bottles from me.  Trust me, it happened and I am much less tired now!

Hanging at the pizza place called "Hallo Pizza".  We were regulars there, until they kept messing up the sauce and Mike wrote them off!

In the middle of the park is this beautiful fountain.  We walked around here pretty much all the time.  Can you tell that the theme of our trip here revolved around walking?